Arcadian Knights

August 31st Session Summary

Entire party wakes up bound and blindfolded in separate cells in a creaking, groaning, swaying space. Last thing anyone remembers is being knocked out by a truncheon. SECOND to last things remembere are:
KlikTak: Seducing a woman before seeing her eyes widen in surprise.
Barnalby: Being dragged into some hair-brained deal arranged by his brother with clients he’s never met. They no show, truncheons ensue.
Kain Mufassa: Arranging a TOTALLY SWEET DEAL where for some reason the people don’t show up?! Truncheons ensue.
Suulis: Sitting cross legged in his hammock, attending to his sword.
Aximac: Charing headlong towards a truncheon-armed turdlord, before being knocked out by a second truncheon-wielding turdlord. (Aximac is a shield-wielding, bloodthirsty part Chelaxian(?)-part native brawler who specializes in shields, who knows Barnakby and Kain Mufassa thanks to prior business dealings to procure mutagens)

KT, KM, A(Aximax), and B(Barnakby) extricate themselves from their bonds, then help S(Suulis) get out. A big dumb anglerfishman guard and a little guilesome Duergar guard are arguing about the rules of some game. The party distracts them/attacks them, they try to sound an alarm, and the monkey brothers blow the guards’ entrails all across the fucking room, the party collects their stolen gear that was being used as poker chips. This included monkey brothers doing all kinds of crazy flip tricks with their tails and opposable thumb feet, a theme throughout.
Loot the room: some tattered upper middle class Tlecaxana clothing, 300g in assorted currencies, 3 Potions of Reduce Person, and a hat that makes the wearer talk in a high pitched voice and have difficulty suppressing internal monologue. S promptly stuffs it onto KM’s head, and feels 0 remorse.

Party investigates the hallway outside. More groaning and machinery noises can be heard, along with whirring of blades and screaming. 3 doors down hallway. 1st contains two children screaming at each other – daughter of a Tlecaxana noble from B and KM’s home city, and the nephew of the Deputy Post-Master General of New Cheliax. We learn this after KT does his bars thing and humors/speaks with them. Apparently kidnapped but treated well enough. They are betrothed, child betrothals being a fairly common practice. We also know the postal service is Not To Be Fucked With in this setting. They’re shitty bratty rich kids and have trashed the room, so KT lets them know they need to clean up their mess and only then will we come back to rescue them.

2nd door contains a stash of cocaine and heroin in bags worth about 3.5k gold. B stuffs it into his bag of holding.

3rd door contains a porthole – we realize we’re fairly deep underwater. Also has a rudimentary alchemical lab which seems to test water. S realizes it also tests the “alignment” of the water, leading us to believe the submersible is capable of interplanar travel. B loots the valuable components from the alchemy lab.

4th door leads to a room full of valves, as well a 7 diving suits that look like they’d fit Duergar. A room beyond seems to have some pressure equalizing relationship with the room we’re in, so we leave it be.

Head up the ladder to the next level. KM immediately moves to the closet door and opens it. Inside is a larger anglerfish woman much like our guard, and behind her are 3 giant demonic eyes against the back of a very large room. She says she’s glad they’ve sent the food up, KT insinuates his way into the tour of what turns out to be a sacrificial chamber that we’re destined for. (Sacrifices feed the demonic “engine” at the back of the room, a giant scaly wolf demon thing that runs the sub) While she’s distracted in her pontificating and trying to maneuver KT towards a meat grinder altar thing, KT smoothly sets up his pole to trip her as S and A bull rush her into the meat grinder. She sticks but is still able to lash out. The tongue from the demon snakes out, KM throws a bomb down its gullet. The tongue envelopes S, B sets it on fire and A tries to sever it. A fails and is enveloped, but S is freed and he delivers an electrical blast into it, making it loose A and writhe around. The demon is in its death throws, and the party is overcome by the soul-sentiment and experiences of its various sacrificial victims. B and A and KT manage to push the fish lady all the into the meat grinder, and the party cheeses it out of the room as the tongue writhes around after them. Klaxons sounds and the sub begins to sway more violently.

Check out the other two doors on the hall – one contains a ton of fish people, we promptly say “nope” and shut/lock the door. 3rd is a Duergar dormitory, we hear them arguing about what the klaxon means. KT opens the door, says “alarm is acting up, we’ll fix it,” shuts and locks the door and we’re on our way,

End of the corridor contains what we discern to be an elevator. KT and S try to use magic device/bluff through the Magic Mouth that asks for a passcode but fail. Gas begins to flood the elevate as it goes up but we clear it out. The “response party” at the top turns out to be the Duergar captain, who we trip and whose heart is promptly ripped out and sucked dry by A. Two rooms on this level. 1st is bridge – B and KM try to stay and pilot the listing ship before it explodes/sinks. A S KT check out the other room – captains quarters contain a cabana boy, drugged up, who confirms that this is an interplanar vessel. He doesn’t have much info, and falls asleep. Room also contains a library (engineering books, oceanography, trashy romance, and a Tlecaxana scroll depicting history of Queen Tetlanco, a diabolist) a map of the ship’s course (including weird routes through/around extraplanar spaces), and a dresser (which we forgot to loot!)

B and KM manage to surface the sub and point it towards the coast, finishing the session.

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